Even in an Empathetic World, Sometimes You Need to Be Tough

What makes a good leader or teammate?

Ask anyone and you'll hear things like, empathetic, collaborative, emotionally intelligent, vulnerable.

And while I agree these qualities are undeniably important, they can sometimes make it difficult to assert yourself or take tough stands when necessary. Being 'tough' isn't about being unkind or dismissive; it's about making the right decisions, holding boundaries and protecting the integrity of your work, your team and your boss

At MGXW Consulting, we train, teach, and preach on the human-first approach to doing business. This doesn't mean we can't hold others accountable or put our foot down when necessary. What happens when you have an Affiliative Leadership Style and need to be tough? Our natural leadership style isn’t always effective in every situation which is why we created our Modern Leadership: Leadership Style Training Module for organizations.

Being tough is a critical skill everyone needs to learn how to harness, so we're here to help make it a bit easier for you.

Here are four ways to comfortably embrace being tough, because we know, there are times you'll have to be.

1. CLARITY: Toughness starts with clarity. Vague feedback can lead to confusion or defensiveness. Be specific about the behavior or issue that needs to be addressed and frame the conversation in terms of problem-solving, not blaming. Offer actionable suggestions or paths forward that allow the person to improve or adjust. 

2. DIRECT AND KIND: Tough conversations are often necessary, but they don't have to be harsh. Being direct, while maintaining kindness, allows you to communicate difficult truths in a way that still respects the other person’s dignity. Honesty, delivered with empathy, goes a long way in fostering respect and much more powerful than empathy with no directness.

3. ACCOUNTABILITY: It's easy to overlook mistakes or let things slide in the name of harmony, but true leadership demands accountability. Hold yourself and your team accountable for results and responsibilities, create a culture where people can solve for a problem instead of push blame and you'll find ownership and trust soar. 

4. KNOW YOUR WORTH: Toughness means standing firm when you've made a well-thought-out decision. While it's essential to remain flexible and adaptable, there are times when you must hold your ground to ensure the best outcomes for your organization, even when it's uncomfortable or unpopular. When faced with a situation like this, transparency on the how and why of the decision coupled with openness for questions will create more comfort all around.

In a world that constantly emphasizes collaboration and empathy, it’s easy to forget that leadership also requires the courage to be tough when it matters most.  

Strength doesn't come from controlling others or disregarding emotions; it comes from a deep commitment to integrity, accountability, and delivering results, even when it’s hard.

The truth is, being tough is a skill—one that balances humanity with resolve. When leaders and teammates can embrace both empathy and assertiveness, they not only protect the people and projects they are responsible for but also foster an environment where trust, respect, and growth thrive.