What makes a good leader or teammate?

Ask anyone and you'll hear things like, empathetic, collaborative, emotionally intelligent, vulnerable.

And while I agree these qualities are undeniably important, they can sometimes make it difficult to assert yourself or take tough stands when necessary. Being 'tough' isn't about being unkind or dismissive; it's about making the right decisions, holding boundaries and protecting the integrity of your work, your team and your boss

THE SITUATION

For the first time in history, the US did not make the Top 20 happiest countries list.

Over the past two decades, happiness in the U.S. has steadily declined. 

Historically, significant drops in national happiness have been linked to major traumatic events, such as the Great Depression, the 9/11 attacks, and the COVID-19 pandemic. Each of these crises led to widespread economic instability, social distress, and uncertainty, profoundly affecting the well-being of the population. 

John was so excited to start his brand-new job at an ad agency.  

He walked into the office on his first day, eager to dive in, when he got to his desk, he was informed his boss was out traveling, and half of his team was working remotely. After filling out paperwork with HR, he found himself at a desk with no clear instructions, no immediate tasks, and no one to turn to for guidance. 

Uncomfortable, alone, and unsure of how to make a meaningful start, John felt his excitement slipping away, replaced by uncertainty and isolation. The lack of direction left him disconnected, and without immediate support or tasks, he began questioning if this was the right environment for him. Did he want to work in an organization that doesn't consider its people? 

Hand on heart, I used to avoid networking at all costs. I thought it was transactional, schmoozy, and something only people with endless free time could afford to do. The truth? My shyness held me back from putting myself out there. The idea of mingling at events, exchanging business cards, and engaging in small talk felt exhausting. I couldn’t imagine how it would lead to professional benefits or meaningful relationships.

I got by on this logic for a while. I was Vice President of Marketing at a huge media company in NYC (think the HBO series Succession 📺), and by all accounts, I was successful. I consistently hit my goals and was regularly tapped for new challenges and growth opportunities.

You're walking into the office with complete dread...again. 

Have you ever had a manager who made you question everything you brought to the table? I did. And while it’s not something I’d want to relive, it taught me lessons I carry with me to this day. Here’s the story—and how I turned that experience into something powerful.

I was tremendously successful at my last job and landed at the media brand I had dreamt about for two years. The excitement was impossible to contain.  

The brand.

The team

The role.

The boss.

...all seemed promising. 

It didn’t take long for cracks to show. 

I’m sitting in bed on a Saturday morning, sipping a hot cup of coffee and writing this email. Please note, it is the Saturday morning before the election. 🇺🇸

I don’t know what the heck is going to happen. 🤷

I’m sick of the political ads and lawn signs. 🏡.

And even though I believe it, I’m tired of hearing this is the most important election of our time… I heard that in 2016 and 2020. 🚫

Keep reading because this is not about politics, I promise.